Toxic Tales of JoJo
by rainbowparadoxes
Summary: Koichi and Rohan take a friendly, 3 in the morning trip to the manga club. Please Note: This story was NOT written to be read. It was written by my sister and I in a time of hilarity and escalating parody. While some enjoyment may be taken from the following pages, I urge you to read something else if your description of a good story involves words such as legible' or 'Coherent'.


Koichi and Rohan: Documents of Crazy Times and the most Interesting Person in the World

Rohan knocked on Koichi's door. "KOICHI!" he called as he munched on a cheese stick, "GET OUT HERE! THE MANGA CLUB IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!"

Koichi did not ocme, though.

"KOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Called Rohan, trying a second time. Rohan sighed. "I GUESS I WILL JUST NEED TO GO IN THROUGH THE BACK," he said wearily.

The back entrance, also known as The Wall Behind Koichi's Bed, was a more unconventional means of getting into Koichi's house. With a grunt, Rohan thrust through the wall, splattering plaster all over Koichi's bedroom.

Koichi's bedroom, now covered in plaster, was a fun place to be bored to death. Lining the walls, Koichi had many books. The ones which were not writted by Rohan were titled things like '_How to be Nice To Everyone while Hiding Your Inner Rage'_ or, perhaps, on a crazier day '_Last Stand: Koichi's Guide to Being Cool_', which, surprisingly to Rohan, did not sell many copies.

"Aaaaah," screamed Koichi. It was more like a dull exclamation, though, as Koichi was on a no-screaming diet. "There is plaster all over my bed. Aaaaaaaah."

After Koichi got up, examined the plaster, wiped off his pajamas (which were adorened with Pac Man and the Ghostly Adventures images) he glanced up at Rohan.

"Oh, hello Rohan," said Koichi calmly as he ate a bit of what used to be his wall. "What's the haps?"

Rohan nodded, his wave-like hair flowing about as he did so.

"THE MANGA CLUB," explained Rohan, "IS BEGINNING SOON. WE MUST MAKE HASTE."

Koichi frowned. "But I am still in my Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures pajamas," he protested. "Circumference, Betrayus and Cylli are all up on my pants."

"NO TIME," cried Rohan. With that last word, he grabbed Koichi by the wrist, flung him out of the room and proceeded to drag him to the library.

After he left, Koichi's mother walked in. Upon seeing the Rohan-shaped hole in the wall (part of Rohan's Stand is being able to make holes in his exact form so as not to cause confusion, you see) she clucked her throat.

"Boys will be boys, I suppose," said she as she tasted a bit of drywall and went back to bed.

AAA

Koichi frowned when Rohan stopped running (he was used to being dragged around the town at high speeds, as was related to his stand, Space Jam Feet.) "Where are we," asked Koichi, who was on a strict no-questionmark diet.

"AT THE LIBRARY," explained Rohan. "THE MANGA CLUB IS TODAY. WE WILL PROBABLY ONLY DESTROY ONE OR TWO PEOPLE. IT WILL BE A FESTIVE TIME."

Koichi nodded. "That sounds pleasant," he said. "Will there be other people interested in manga,"

"OH, YES," cried Rohan, becoming excited. "I WILL HAVE MANY BRAINS TO READ."

"What,"

"NOTHING"

"I KNOW THAT IT IS THREE IN THE MORNING," explained Rohan, chewing on a manga page with Okuyasu on it. "BUT AS A HUMBLE, FAMOUS AND WELL-BELOVED MANGA WRITER, IT IS MY JOB TO BE PUNCTUAL AND LOVING AND CARING AND FOREMOST AND INTIMATE WITH ALL OF MY LOVING WORSHIPPERS. MOSTLY KOICHI."

Koichi nodded, still groggy from being awoken in the middle of the night (and from staying up late watching a Dragons: Riders of Berk Marathon whilst listening to audio clips of his favorite episodes of Little Einsteins and Bubble Guppies) shrugged.

"It _is _good to be punctual" said Koichi, who decided that commas were making him fat.

"DO NOT WORRY, LOYAL FOLLOWER OF ROHAN KISHIBE," said Rohan. "I WILL HELP PASS THE TIME FOR YOU, MY LOYAL FOLLOWER OF ROHAN KISHIBE, BY RECITING POETRY WHICH I HAVE WRITTEN." Rohan pulled out a large sack (covered in Koichi's sweat from the last slightly nerve wrecking accidental usage of punctuation) of his complex and thought provoking poetry, which of consisted of haikus, poems, free verse, and blackmail, which he sent generously to his publishers. "KOICHI, HOLD MY SACK." Rohan suddenly demanded, throwing his sack of delicously juicy (sweaty) literature at Koichi who did not have enough time to respond.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (sound of me yellin between transitions)

Once the library opened, Rohan lead Koichi into the back room, which doubled as a torture chamber for horribly snobby children who would not pay their library fees. Rohan sat on the floor, criss -cross-apple-sauce, and instructed Koichi to do the same. Koichi tried to speak, but Rohan considered this to be unnecessary for the time being. Before Koichi could gather his words, Rohan removed his shoe and shoved his left sock down Koichi's eatin' place. He then burned his shoes inside the library. the enchanting glisten from the shoe fire on Koichi's moist eyeballs engrossed Rohan. He used the remaining sock as a effigy of Sasuke Uchiha and burned it. "YOU AREN'T AS COOL AS ME," Rohan muttered to himself, as he chewed on another manga page, "YOU'RE JUST AN SASUKE."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (another transition of me yelling)  
Exactly five hours later, Rohan immediately snapped his neck (not in a deadly manner) torwards the clock. "IT'S TIME, MY LITTLE BEEFCAKE." He gathered the ashes of his shoes and snorted them before anyone would notice.

"Rohan that's unsanitary" Said Koichi, unsure if apostrophes were appropriate for his no punctuation diet.

Rohan sat Koichi down in a father-like manner. "KOICHI," He explained, "SOMETIMES IN LIFE YOU MUST REPAY YOUR DEBT TO THE FIRES YOU HAVE BURNED." He finished, exhaling ashes and dust particles into Koichi's once-moist eyeballs.

At that moment, _the crew,_ (Josuke and Okuyasu) arrived on the scene. Josuke was unsure of Rohan's intentions to glue Koichi to the wall. However, he brushed off this suspicion and tossed altoids into his mouth.

"Yo, Koichi," Josuke yo'd at Koichi, "This place is off the hiz-ow!"

"WELCOME, FOLLOWERS OF ROHAN KISHIBE. I AM ROHAN KISHIBE, AND THIS IS ROHAN KISHIBE'S MANGA CLUB, CREATED BY ROHAN KISHIBE FOR ROHAN KISHIBE INSPIRED BY ROHAN KISHIBE." After a moment of thought, Rohan added: "ALSO KOICHI KISHIBE I MEAN HIROSE. WAIT, NO I DON'T."

Okuyasu clapped whooped, tears in eyes as he lamented over Rohan's humble act of acknowledgement towards Koichi.

Rohan stood tall, towering over his small audience with as much grace as a high schooler on a math test he didn't study for. "EVERYONE IT IS TIME TO BEGIN THE INTRODUCTORY RITUALS TORWARDS ME, ROHAN KISHIBE, AND FOR, ROHAN KISHIBE."

Koichi frowned. "All those commas are going to really hurt your B.M.I (Body Mass Indicator) you should consider using less commas"

Rohan ignored Koichi's suggestion. "THE RITUAL STARTS WITH EVERYONE BOWING TO ME, ROHAN KISHIBE. PLEASE BOW TO ME, ROHAN KISHIBE."

Josuke and Okuyasu bowed for Koichi's sake even though Koichi himself had no idea what was going off at the time. Rohan kicked Koichi behind both knees to force him into a bowing position.

"GOOD. NOW STAY LIKE THIS FOR THE NEXT 6 HOURS AND CHANT ROHAN KISHIBE ILLUSTRATES THE BEST MANGA. KISHIBE IS BEST."

"I cant" Koichi protested, "That has punctuation marks in it"

Rohan responded by kicking him again.

"This! Is! The! Best! Club! Ever!" Okuyasu praised.

Koichi languidly turned his neck with the sound reminiscent of a car screeching to a halt. "Okuyasu you shouldnt use so many exclimation points or you will get too fat"

"No! I! Won't! Be! Silenced! My! Punctuation! Metabolism! Is! High! Anyway!"

With that, and the sound of a choking antelope, he spontaneously gained an overwhelmingly large amount of body fat. So much that he could no longer fit in the small room. After several hours of being stuck under his body fat, the other members of the manga club were saved when emergency responders cut a large hole into the room and rolled Okuyasu to a hospital.

"WAIT!" Cried Rohan, "I NEVER GOT TO MAKE A THRONE OUT OF MY OWN MANGA!" He sighed, grabbing the remaining members and pulling them close as though they were his only safeguard in a world of enemies. Koichi especially close. "DON'T WORRY, THERE IS ALWAYS NEXT TIME IN 30 MINUTES. THE MANGA CLUB LASTS 23 AND A HALF HOURS AND WE HAVE ONE EVERY DAY WITH 30 MINUTES INBETWEEN TO PREPARE FOR THE NEXT MANGA CLUB."

The manga club was fun.

The End.


End file.
